Overheard in the Newsroom

Reporter who’d been told by his doctor not to eat nuts: “I don’t care. If it kills me, it means I don’t have to work here anymore.”

Said to the editor: “So, can I tell him that even you think he’s being a dick?”

Editor: “Yeah, like THAT’LL help.”

Queens and Old Timers

Talking about the upcoming Rodeo Queen competition at a county fair. 

Reporter 1: "The girl was queen two years in a row? That’s a helluva lot of time committed to pageantry, horse shows, ribbons and a whole lot of other crap — for two years! Where do these kids find the time?" 

Reporter 2, 70-year-old man with mustache and beard: "I don’t know. I’ve never been a 15-year-old girl in a pageant." 

From the assignment desk: “Please don’t call 911 over a bird that you found.”

Late night

Features reporter: “Whoa. It’s 5:02. Why are we still here.”

Sports reporter: “We’re busy making fun of people.”

Features reporter: “We could be here all night.”

Reporter: “Is there any reason why a chicken nugget story is after my obesity package?”

Editor: “Anybody associated with a Friday groundbreaking should be fired.”

Editor during a discussion on the drug Molly:

"I had a Molly in college. That fish lived a long time."

Male producer unable to open computer program: “I haven’t been able to get it up all day.”

Sales manager to reporter, discussing the problems with getting in touch with people in both their respective jobs: “I will just harass you until you bow to my will.”

Wire editor to giggling sports designers: “What are you doing? Is somebody blindfolded? Do I need to call HR?”

Me: “Mind if I ask you a style question?”

Editor: “Sure.”

Me: “Does this tie go with these pants?”

Editor: “Get the fuck out of my office.”

Reporter 1: “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Reporter 2: “No. It’s past 5 p.m. Unless you’re offering me alcohol or caffeine, I don’t want to speak to you.”