Overheard in the Newsroom
Man Boobs

Producer on VO placement: “Man boobs behind Lindsay equals bad!”

Letter to the editor

"I’d say, ‘submit a letter to the editor,’ but the editor doesn’t give a fuck." -My Editor in Chief 

Emotional Breading

(While a crew is discussing breaded vs non-breaded chicken sandwich options for lunch)

Associate Producer: “No, I need the breading for emotional reasons. I need emotional breading.”

Reporter: “I’m getting bored just thinking about interviewing these two sheriff candidates.” 

Reporter 1: “You just haven’t hit rock bottom yet.”

Reporter 2: “I don’t have a rock bottom. It’s just an infinite fall.”

Customer to another customer at front desk: “Hey, I know you. They just let anybody in here.” 
Cops reporter under her breath: “That’s an understatement.” 

Pop culture?

Intern to new Millennial in the office about their Gen X colleagues: "Every day they quiz me on what used to be pop culture."

Editor: “OK, I’m just going to print this because I’m fucking sick of looking at it.”

BREAKING: Puppies Trump Call Back

Phone rings in the newsroom. Reporter glances at call display and sees it’s a contact returning a call.

"Aww man! Doesn’t he know I’m watching a video of puppies?"

Sports copy editor 1: “How many years have you been married?”
Sports copy editor 2: “34 years.”
Sports copy editor 3: “To the same woman?”

Outdrink your grandma

"I could totally outdrink your grandma, bro."

Entertainment reporter: “We have a low bar for sanity in our letters to the editor.”

Desk editor: “It’s a just a matter of rearranging the words so you don’t come off sounding like a douche bag.”

Writing

Reporter 1: “I just had to cut 700 words from my gay marriage story.”

Reporter 2: “You just cut a story from your story?”

Producer: This show is a joke.

Reporter: Our entire lives are jokes.

Producer: Fair.