Anchor: The thing about this mug shot is that if the guy just waxed the ends of his mustache, rolled his sleeves up, and put on a bolo tie, he’d be a hipster. Give this guy a bicycle and he has a completely different life path. But one of the ones with the big back tire obviously.
Hey folks — just a heads up, we were hacked Saturday evening.
This Tumblr page is just a temporary fix while we get things worked out. We hope to get everything back to normal by this weekend.
Thanks for your patience,
Younger journalist talking about Twitter: “You can do it. I believe in you.”
Older journalist: “I’m glad one of us does.”
Reporter’s idea for a new beat: “Can’t we just make a perv reporter?”
Assistant managing editor: “You know, that is the rumor I’ve been spreading, but I don’t think it’s true.”
Education reporter, after three local broadcast stations copy her print story: “As I’ve learned, the wheels of the education news cycle do not turn unless I’m peddling.”
Reporter who’d been told by his doctor not to eat nuts: “I don’t care. If it kills me, it means I don’t have to work here anymore.”
Said to the editor: “So, can I tell him that even you think he’s being a dick?”
Editor: “Yeah, like THAT’LL help.”
Talking about the upcoming Rodeo Queen competition at a county fair.
Reporter 1: "The girl was queen two years in a row? That’s a helluva lot of time committed to pageantry, horse shows, ribbons and a whole lot of other crap — for two years! Where do these kids find the time?"
Reporter 2, 70-year-old man with mustache and beard: "I don’t know. I’ve never been a 15-year-old girl in a pageant."
From the assignment desk: “Please don’t call 911 over a bird that you found.”
Features reporter: “Whoa. It’s 5:02. Why are we still here.”
Sports reporter: “We’re busy making fun of people.”
Features reporter: “We could be here all night.”
Reporter: “Is there any reason why a chicken nugget story is after my obesity package?”
Editor: “Anybody associated with a Friday groundbreaking should be fired.”
Editor during a discussion on the drug Molly:
"I had a Molly in college. That fish lived a long time."
Male producer unable to open computer program: “I haven’t been able to get it up all day.”