Overheard in the Newsroom
Anonymous Reader: “Your bias is clearly showing”

"We’re not biased," says the sports editors, "we don’t like anybody."

Assistant Editor enters newsroom carrying a brown, longneck bottle.

Staff writer: “So you’ve just stopped giving a shit?”

Assistant Editor: “No, it’s root beer, but it may or may not have vodka in it.”

Newspaper or Dating Site?

"This commenter’s username is ‘momof2in(city).’ That sounds more like a dating profile."

City editor seeking contact info from caller: “Can you call us back after you figure out your number?”

Reporter: “I hate these stupid updates. Look at this, a health app. I don’t want to be healthy, iPhone. Get out of here.” 

(Our newspaper was found in Boston’s Old State House time capsule)
Editorial Director: They found copies of five newspapers; three of them are still in print 113 years later.
Reporter: I feel like that’s better than 90 percent of major metropolitan areas today.
Both: *moment of silence*

Managing editor: “I made it work because I’m a freaking genius.”
Copy editor: “I’m keeping my mouth shut.” 

After trying to figure out what the smell of burnt newsroom popcorn reminds him of:

Reporter: I’ve got it! It smells like hotdog-scented fireworks!

Photo editor on the phone, “I’m just checking what you’ve got in your trunk. Do you have a bullet-proof vest in your trunk?”

Student reporter: “I came in to use the free printing and wind up writing a clip-worthy story about an university president dying…”

Reporter 1, slumped over keyboard: “This is why I should never drink tequila.”

Reporter 2: “Oh, grow up. You only had four shots.”

Editor: you realize that a clear-eyed and cool-headed sense of reason will get you absolutely nowhere?

Reporter: yes. that’s how i got here.

Dying to use funny statements

Night editor, finishes reading off some of the crazy, scary and “funny” statements he’s cataloged from obituaries (to some day use in his own): “I can’t wait until I die.” 

Got Swag?

Cops reporter: “Do you think I can take off my shoes? It’s really hot in here.”
City reporter: “Sure, why not?”
Cops reporter: “I’m kind of embarrassed because…” proceeds to reveal ”Got Swag” socks.

The moment the publisher collected another soul

"The more things stay the same the more things stay the same."

- Reporter on the status quo of backward management policies