Overheard in the Newsroom

Reporter: “What’s the deal with all the purple spots on Michael Phelps?!? It looks like he fell asleep on his medals.”

Reporter 2: “He just sleeps on a bed of medals.”

Assistant Editor: “Nudity’s always better with a story.”

Assistant Editor: “We’re going to get an obit via fax from Shelbyville.”

(Editor groans)

Assistant Editor: “Yep, it’s still the ‘90s in Shelbyville.”

Producer (teaching reporter how to refer to directions on a map): When you see a map in print, north is always on top.

Reporter (genuinely): It is? Oh wow. Ok, that’s good to know.

Editor, working on a story about Pokemon Go: “Are they all considered pocket monsters?”

City reporter: Didn’t you read (story from a few months ago)?

Executive Editor: I don’t read.

Reporter: So, everyone in [town] is suing everyone else.

Editor: Yeah, that sounds about right.

News clerk discussing wildfire fire press release: They basically came forward and said, “Yeah we started the fire.”
Sports reporter: That’s the exact opposite of a Billy Joel song. 

Editor: “It’s National Underwear Day.” Male reporter: “Glad I’m wearing underwear.” Female reporter: “Glad I’m not.”

Producer 1: “Ooh, Sarah McLachlan is coming in to town.  We should get her on our show.”
Producer 2: “We’ll have her perform that song and put video of puppies in the monitor behind her.”

Features editor (hanging up phone): Yikes, those were some cross words about the crossword.

On the morning’s workload

Editor: “(Reporter), you did see that the blotter was empty this morning, correct?”

Reporter: “Yes.”

Sports Editor: “Of course it was, he did just come from the bathroom a minute ago….”

Editor: “The blotter, not his bladder!”

Reporter: “…Gross.”

Assistant Editor: “Man, if (politician) is going to be in town tomorrow, that means I have to not dress like a hobo.”

Editor: Do you know how to use (a program)?
Reporter: In theory.
Editor: In theory communism works.