Overheard in the Newsroom

After trying to figure out what the smell of burnt newsroom popcorn reminds him of:

Reporter: I’ve got it! It smells like hotdog-scented fireworks!

Photo editor on the phone, “I’m just checking what you’ve got in your trunk. Do you have a bullet-proof vest in your trunk?”

Student reporter: “I came in to use the free printing and wind up writing a clip-worthy story about an university president dying…”

Reporter 1, slumped over keyboard: “This is why I should never drink tequila.”

Reporter 2: “Oh, grow up. You only had four shots.”

Editor: you realize that a clear-eyed and cool-headed sense of reason will get you absolutely nowhere?

Reporter: yes. that’s how i got here.

Dying to use funny statements

Night editor, finishes reading off some of the crazy, scary and “funny” statements he’s cataloged from obituaries (to some day use in his own): “I can’t wait until I die.” 

Got Swag?

Cops reporter: “Do you think I can take off my shoes? It’s really hot in here.”
City reporter: “Sure, why not?”
Cops reporter: “I’m kind of embarrassed because…” proceeds to reveal ”Got Swag” socks.

The moment the publisher collected another soul

"The more things stay the same the more things stay the same."

- Reporter on the status quo of backward management policies

Man Boobs

Producer on VO placement: “Man boobs behind Lindsay equals bad!”

Letter to the editor

"I’d say, ‘submit a letter to the editor,’ but the editor doesn’t give a fuck." -My Editor in Chief 

Emotional Breading

(While a crew is discussing breaded vs non-breaded chicken sandwich options for lunch)

Associate Producer: “No, I need the breading for emotional reasons. I need emotional breading.”

Reporter: “I’m getting bored just thinking about interviewing these two sheriff candidates.” 

Reporter 1: “You just haven’t hit rock bottom yet.”

Reporter 2: “I don’t have a rock bottom. It’s just an infinite fall.”

Customer to another customer at front desk: “Hey, I know you. They just let anybody in here.” 
Cops reporter under her breath: “That’s an understatement.” 

Pop culture?

Intern to new Millennial in the office about their Gen X colleagues: "Every day they quiz me on what used to be pop culture."